Hey Everyone, this is Steve.
I wanted to post a public service announcement to my friends and family...DON'T COME TO GEORGIA IN THE SUMMER!!!
Oh my goodness! I feel like I am walking on the sun! When I was a kid, we used to go to the beach in So Cal and run around all day, playing in the water and having fun. I didn't even know what sun screen was! On Monday last week I am bobbing in the local pool and goofing off with the kids. Pulling Tyler and Jake around in the water, shooting water pistols at the others and everything is fine...or so I thought. Evidently, they use a different kind of sun in the South. A friggin' hot one! That night I could still feel the burn, but by the next morning I felt great! In fact, I was excited to get back to the pool. So I packed up the chittlins and mosied down to yonder cement pond fer a nice dip. (Sorry, my inner southerner just came out. I feel like tearing the sleeves off my flannel shirt and watching NASCAR.) I obviously hadn't learned my lesson. By the time we got home my shoulders were already screaming out in pain.
We decided to take the kids camping near Lake Lanier...that's the lake in Georgia where the braniacs who control it have been shipping our water off to FL and AL to protect wildlife wetlands while we in Atlanta are enjoying all the benefits of water rationing. I don't know who left the heater on at the campsite, but DUDE it was hot there. Actually, it was probably 75 degrees, with 700% humidity. I had to take a break after setting up the tent. What do the kids want to do? Swim in the lake? Nope. Have a water fight? Nope. They want to BUILD A FIRE AND COOK MARSHMALLOWS! Who are these kids? I am sweating to death and my kids want to build a campfire on the SUN!
Around 9pm I get the kids in the tent (along with a storm cloud of black flies and one very hungry spider) I have my shirt off and a fan blowing on my back. I am barely falling asleep when my back totally catches on fire! I flip over (which is very painful in my lobster back state) and I see Hayden has turned the fan onto himself. Can you believe that simply turning the fan to face him would actually cause pain to my back? That was an odd feeling. So I said, "Hey, turn that thing back on me." And poor little Hayden says, "But daddy, I am hot, too." He just melts my heart...melts it like a Hershey's bar in my back pocket. Through tear-filled eyes of gratitude and love for my second son, beaming with pride in all that he has already accomplished, I said, "I don't give a crap! Give me that fan back!" Ahhh, parenthood. Well, I survived the night, so did the kids.
The moral of this tale is simple, avoid Georgia like the plague! You will get a wicked bad sunburn and end up depriving your son of the simple pleasure of a fan on an incredibly hot night.
Man, I miss New Hampshire.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)



1 comment:
I spent two months of my mission July and August riding a bike in Augusta GA waiting for my French Visa to clear so I know what you are talking about. Just next time you are out in the hot sun put on a white shirt and tie and ride miles on you bike then think of me. If you think of me today however I had to wear long sleve shirt and pants to go to Logan's and Lauren's swimming lessons because it was 48 freezing degrees. It must be all the global warming right? I laughed pretty good when I read your nice camping story. It sounds like you should visit Utah more often since gas and airplane tickets are so cheap now. HA! HA!
Post a Comment